First date are super exciting. Will you hit it off? Will they be attractive? Is this all a big mistake? Will they smell funny? Or will they be your future spouse? Who’s picking up the tab? So many questions will likely be swirling around in your mind, along with a big dollop of potential awkwardness. How to go about nailing the first date? While guaranteeing your soul mate as a date is nigh on impossible, you can take on board some tips on what not to do when you meet.
Start planning the wedding
For those of us that are impulsive, die-hard romantics can often think we fall in love at first sight. But admitting this to a date, coming up with names for future children, or asking them what colour scheme they want for the wedding is probably not the best idea. Coming on too strong and declaring undying and eternal love will likely send your date running away in fear.
While it’s technically ok to dream about what the future may hold, these are things that are best kept to yourself. Even if your date leads the conversation, you should still be wary. ‘Love bombing’, as it’s often referred to, can be a sign of narcissism and a red flag for toxicity. In other words, play it cool, stay calm, and don’t bring up moving in together within the first 10 minutes.
First date nerves can be really tough! We get the shakes, sweaty palms, stutters, and blank minds. But getting drunk is not the solution. Of course, if you drink alcohol, there’s nothing wrong with having a drink or two on your date, but knowing your limits is key. Getting drunk can mean you embarrass yourself by talking too much or too frankly, or even falling over.
Sober dating doesn’t have to be boring, and, in fact, it’s often recommended for the first few dates. Alcohol can cloud our judgment so it’s best to have a clear head when we are forming important opinions about potential partners. If your date wants to have a drink, that’s totally fine, but if they get sloshed, consider it a red flag.
Talk about yourself
Of course, you and your date want to get to know each other, but there’s nothing more off-putting than someone that just talks about themselves. Most likely, it would be a turn-off if your date just sat and told you about themselves and didn’t ask you a single question. It’s the same situation with the tables turned.
It can be great to initiate certain topics, but you must be sure to listen, ask them questions, and not interrupt. If you stop them mid-sentence to talk about yourself, it shows your date that you aren’t listening or interested in what they have to say. Take your time, take in what they are talking about, and be sure to ask questions. If they reciprocate, this is a good sign.
Cry over your ex
Everyone has that one ex that they just cannot get over. Even if we don’t like to admit it, there is often one ex-lover that still tugs at our heartstrings. But this doesn’t mean you need to bring it up on your first, second, or even third date. In fact, there really is no need to bring them up at all. Your current date certainly doesn’t need to know about how your ex ripped your heart out and destroyed your life, or your pet name for them and how cute they look when they sleep.
Answer questions if they come up, but it isn’t necessary to go into detail and start crying, clutch your wine glass in one hand, heart in the other, and wail their name repeatedly. Just don’t.